"Make or Break Us" is one of those songs I affectionately call an "angry chick song" whenever I play it live or talk about it with my family. I’ve always been known for being slightly feminist (hopefully not femin-nazi - there’s a big difference) and I suppose this song is proof of that. However, I do believe this song applies to - and hopefully empowers - both genders.
So what inspired this song? Well, it’s hard to say. My closest guess is that it is a notion that has been building up for the past 17 years of my life and has manifested itself in this sass-tastic piece of art. It’s strange, considering I’ve never been good at confrontation. Almost every time I have set out to stick up for myself the conversation has ended with me saying either “I’m sorry” or “you’re right” followed by a “forget I ever said anything” and hours of feeling guilty for ever being any trouble at all. Such is my life! I have always been a person who hates conflict and I don’t believe that will ever change. I try my best to see it as a good thing. However, it can be a quite frustrating quality when all you really want to do is scream and punch a hole in the wall or break anything in sight out of rage and yet you can never quite bring yourself to do it. Like it or not, I’ll never have enough muscle mass to put a hole in the wall. I weigh about 98 lbs with round blue eyes that hardly give off the “tough guy” look so I’m pretty much stuck looking cute and feeling that I can never be taken seriously.
There’s a point in life when people like me have to realize that they can’t please everyone and always be the “nice one.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s unimportant or unattractive to be nice, in fact I think putting other people first is a very key concept in making lasting relationships, be it friends, family or significant others. However, I know that respect and communication are just as important. What I’m trying to say is that it’s a good thing to be straight forward, even if it means not being nice for a little while. At the same time, it’s important to realize that there’s a fine line between being honest and being just plain rude. There’s a right and a wrong way to confront people, and I think that’s part of what this song is getting at.
But if we’re talking about the lyrics themselves, the basic concept of this song is this: I won’t apologize for who I am anymore. In life, there are always going to be people who want to take everything you have to offer and never give anything back. They pick and choose which parts of you will be profitable for them to use. It’s pretty disgusting. I know too many people who have sacrificed their dreams, their values, morals, ethics etc. to keep that certain someone happy. I know a woman who’s boyfriend sabotaged her career simply because her success meant that he would no longer have 100% of her efforts dedicated to his success. Perfect example.
It’s a good thing that you and I don’t have to go through all that. That’s why there’s confrontation - hard as it may be. I hope you will be empowered enough to stick up for what you believe in if you ever find yourself in a bad situation like the one I just talked about, and educated enough to recognize when it’s an issue. Here’s a quote from the best instruction manual to life that I can think of:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I hope someday we all will be able to apply this to our lives, and transform each of our relationships into truly loving relationships. Think of the affect it would have on the world! From the wise words of Gandhi, we can be the change we wish to see in the world - it’s not as impossible as it sounds! It all starts with you and me.